Dwyane Wade – A Father First

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVaFM-sS9DU&w=560&h=315]

Dwyane Wade on David Letterman’s show  – Tuesday August 4th, 2012

I heard about his book a long time ago. I have always like Dwyane. He is a great basketball player and seems like a really good person.

I think more stories of men fighting and beating a system where fathers usually come out on the losing end need to be heard.

There are far too many men who have no idea that you can fight for custody and win. Fathers can, and should remain a vital part of their children’s lives if the relationship between the parents breaks down. Children need a mother AND a father.

The tide is turning. The wheels of change have already been set in motion. I think books like his and the thousands of fatherhood blogs that exist show that more men are willing and able to make a stand and put their foot down. Fathers care just as much as mothers do. Our role is not limited to simply child and/or spousal support.

His book contains more personal information and basketball stories than it does information about how to handle yourself in a custody case. I’m not sure if that was the goal, but I still would suggest picking it up and checking it out if you want to find out what really went down. You will see that in cases like his, and mine, there is a turning point. A time where you say enough is enough. His was when his ex attempted to kidnap their kids and after she defied several court orders. Mine was early in my custody battle. I chose to define the parameters of the settlement early  on and demand a 50/50 split, and pay my ex nothing.

If we stand up as fathers, especially when we love our children more than our exes, we can change the prevailing notion that mothers get the children when the relationship between parents dissolves. We can reduce the amount of fatherless homes which is has long lasting damage across generations of kids and adults. We can change a biased court system from one that leans towards granting mothers custody, into one that respects the contributions of BOTH the mother and the father.

Change don’t come easy. It can, and will happen eventually. Knowledge is the key. Understand the law, learn how much value men bring to the job of child rearing and most important, remain a father first.

By the way, Letterman calls him Dwyane READE  –  twice! Is he starting to lose his mind? Next thing you know he’ll be conducting interviews to empty chairs like Clint Eastwood.

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