Author: Clayton Craddock

I am a dedicated father to two wonderful children, a consultant for divorcing fathers, a thought provoking blogger, and a social reformer who is intent on seeing positive cultural change for boys, men and fathers in the 21st century. Oh, I also play drums too!

Where is Emma Sulkowicz?

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Over the past few days walking around New York City I have begun to notice graduates of Columbia University. It seems like it is that time of year again where college kids actually go out into the real world. No more safe spaces, trigger warnings, Title IX kangaroo courts and no more walking around with mattresses for college credit. All of that stuff is in the past and these kids are supposedly ready to enter  real world.

I wonder how the “Mattress Girl” Emma Sulkowicz is holding up. Is she still making porn videos? Is she still holding onto her mattress?

Well, what I do know is that the dude who had to deal with the fallout from having sex with her isn’t giving up his fight. If my son were to ever go through what he went through, I’d be in court making sure someone pays for the nonsense he dealt with.

Just in case you didn’t know about Emma, she was a Columbia University student who accused her classmate Paul Nungesser of raping her in 2012. The university found him “not responsible” in a Title IX investigation. She eventually protested the decision by carrying around her mattress around the campus as part of a so-called “art project” titled Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight). She insisted on doing so until Paul was no longer on campus.

For some bizarre reason, she actually received academic credit for it. Paul maintained his innocence and later filed a lawsuit against Columbia, its president, Lee Bollinger, its trustees and art professor Jon Kessler in April of 2015. He alleged that the school violated Title IX, the federal law that prohibits sex-based discrimination in federally funded education.

The lawsuit was dismissed but he has filed a new suit claiming that since Columbia permitted Emma to publicly protest, even after they found him “not responsible” for sexual misconduct, the school violated his rights under Title IX but with a new complaint.

In a recent Newsweek article, they reported that Nungesser filed a new 100 page complaint stating that he was discriminated against because he is male. His complaint:

“urges the judge to consider “the case at hand if the genders were reversed,” and then proposes a scenario involving people named Paula and Emmet, with details mirroring what happened between Nungesser and Sulkowicz.

The new complaint also alleges that Columbia’s policies and practices “perpetuate the stereotype of the sex-driven male,” which violates Title IX. For example, the complaint says, Columbia’s policies include no examples of sexual violence involving a male victim and a female perpetrator, only female victims and male perpetrators, or gender-neutral victims and perpetrators.

Also, it says, all videos shown during a mandatory sexual respect program for students focused on “violence against women” and not gender-based violence more generally.

Further, the complaint alleges, the school’s sexual violence policies focus only on penetration as opposed to someone being “made to penetrate.”

I feel it is time for men on these college campuses to keep up the fight and use the law against those who feel it is supposed to protect only women. The law was written gender neutral and if there is discrimination in any form against any sex, the law has been violated.

Male students’ recent lawsuits against colleges have begun to gain some traction in recent months. There are cases in Washington and Lee University as well as Brown.

We’ll see what happens. I wish Mr. Nungesser well and hope that Emma isn’t living in the college fantasy world anymore. It’s time to end the madness on college campuses and we need to stamp out the government overreach and ideological fanaticism. It has gotten completely out of hand.

55 years of Marriage 

Today is my parents’ 55th wedding anniversary. They are the model for what long-term relationships are supposed to be. No marriage is perfect, but theirs seems like it has stood the test of time. I feel their partnership is what a good marriage can ultimately be. I certainly know what a bad marriage looks like, since I was once in one.

My parents are people who I still admire and look up to for all they have accomplished in their lives. It’s rare for people to be married as long as they have been. It is unfortunate our society doesn’t have more models like them to emulate.
55 years is a long time to be with one person. I don’t know how they did it but glad they are still alive and kicking. I’m also happy that they are still together for me, my two sisters and their grandkids.
Even though they will probably never see this post (since they aren’t on social media), and I’ve already spoken to them, Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Thoughts and Reflections

If you look through my blog you will see years of my thoughts. I have posted my thoughts on divorce, family court, college “rape,” male/female relationships and so much more. I started blogging a few years after my divorce as…

Fight Fire With Fire

There is no such thing as a “safe space.” Trigger warnings are a joke. There is no Titile IX when you step off of campus. Micro-aggressions are a part of life as a human being. 738 genders are as ridiculous…

James Baldwin Debates William F. Buckley – 1965

One thing I’d love to do over the next few years is to be a moderator of a series of debates. I love intellectual challenges and enjoy hearing different points of view. It would be great to get public intellectuals with various points of view in a room and find out where there might be common ground.

It’s sad that in 2016 public discourse has turned into shouting matches.

Take some time out and check out this debate. It is a classic, and it is fascinating.

 

SHAME

I read all kinds of non-fiction books. I love memoirs especially. This isn’t one exactly but has a lot of autobiographical info. I often want to figure out what makes people tick and what drives people to do what they…

If Moms Were Treated Like Dads

I received 10 years of this treatment. I know EXACTLY what this feels like. It’s all good though.

I stopped being defensive after a certain point. Eventually, I learned how to just have fun with the moms at the playgrounds as they got to know me better and they later realized how much cooler I was than their husbands…especially when they found out my profession and how much I listen to them.

Ahhhh…the joys of parenting (as a single dad…with high levels of testosterone).

 

“The Boys Are With Bernie” – Gloria Steinem

Bill Maher spoke with iconic feminist Gloria Steinem tonight about a cause he thinks more feminists should care about: radical Islamic law. He brought up how horribly women are treated in the Muslim world and asked why it isn’t a bigger feminist issue. Steinem argued that it actually is, pointing to feminists in Muslim nations attempting to push reforms. She said that “all monotheism is a problem,” but Maher jumped in to say that Islamic nations are particularly horrible to women and bad on women’s rights.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scO9gIpR8BI