“…….Fatherlessness is a problem for homes and communities. Yes, women are holding our communities down, but that’s because they have to. Where are the men who are willing to stand up and take charge? Women shouldn’t have to shoulder the burden of holding down the neighborhood, protecting themselves, our kids, bringing home the bacon, and leading. This may come across as patriarchal, but they weren’t originally designed for that. But, we were.
The lack of a father/father figure does play a part in how boys turn into grown men, and how girls turn into grown women. Studies have borne this out. The root causes can be generational, such as when those in our parent’s generation saw Big Mama ruling the house. Or maybe Pop Pop was home but wasn’t doing much. The examples were set, and since that was what our parents saw, it seemed right to them. The fatherless epidemic also stems from issues that some men haven’t dealt with internally. Frankly, they need healing, and some may even need to be taught how to be present in the life of their child….
…The lack of having a father manifests itself in various ways depending on the person. For young men it could be the beginning of heading down the criminal road, or it could fuel them to greatness. For young women it could lead to frigidity towards men, promiscuity, or inspire them as well. Again, it manifests itself in different ways.
For every person that says fathers aren’t integral to kids, family, and the community, there is a person who will use their own life to refute that way of thinking. It may take time to strip away the muck and get to the core, but I’d bet in some form or fashion, it’ll always be connected to the “dad.” Even if a father isn’t in the home, but he remains active in their child’s life, then their child is on more stable footing.”
Darrk Gable from Single Black Male