It seems as if we have this, “I will figure it all out” mentality embedded in us. We may hear things from older people or from those who may have gone through a similar life experience, but we think we can find a better way to design the wheel.
Sometimes it saddens me.
I get a lot of emails, texts messages or Facebook messages from those who want to speak to me about my family court adventures and dealings with a high conflict ex. I get plenty of them. I usually ask them to reach out to me.
They somehow magically forget to do this, or never follow up. I used to wonder why this happened and would think to myself that maybe they figured out whatever problem they were dealing with, an/or don’t need my advice.
What always seems to happen is that the next time I catch up with them, they tell me what a rough time they had in court, they tell me how they have to pay crazy amounts of child support, they tell me they never see their kids, they tell me they are depressed, they tell me they don’t know what to do.
I get it.
I understand that we want to find the way to the destination without a map or without the passenger giving you directions because you feel more in control.
Well fellas, I hate to break it to you but, when you are dealing with an ex wife or baby momma who is hell bent on giving you hell for 18-21 years, you might want to think things through before you walk through this mine field. By the time you reach out to me, you are probably already caught up in your ex’s narcissistic vortex, or you are in the claws of the state and federal child support system…and it is too late!
I have done a lot of the research and have already walked in your shoes. I have spent the past 8 years of my life studying marriage, gender politics, the family court system, mediation and have personally spent years in and out of family court. The difference between you and me is that I have come though it all being on the winning side. I did my research before I got caught up. I planned ahead. I took the road less traveled and am a much happier man because of it. I am the father I wanted to be and not the one I was forced to be. I was thinking three steps ahead of my adversary and am not playing catch up. I took care of business before it was too late
I would love for you to read this piece I wrote a few years ago. I would love for you to have this sink in, but follow this blog so you can get a few tidbits of wisdom from someone who had seen the dark side, yet come through with a much brighter outlook on life, even if my life isn’t exactly where I want it to be.
When I hear of guys getting stuck with enormous child support bills, not seeing their kids, being pissed at their ex for constantly pushing their buttons and using their children as pawns, it angers me.
I must say, a lot of that stuff can really be avoided. It will cost you money to make sure that you will possibly be in a better position with your future ex, but persistence really does pay off. I am living proof that it works.
Stay tuned for more in the next few weeks. Use the #SoCraddockMethod and you might come out ahead.