Female infidelity on average causes more harm and greater social instability than male infidelity?

I found this on a friend’s Facebook page recently. He is a brilliant writer and a great guitarist/songwriter too. This post sheds some light on male/female relationships and the biology behind our actions. I thought it would be great to share it.

By Inge Berge  – reprinted with permission from the author


-Mr. Berge: A few weeks back, you raised not only eyebrows, but a whole lot of feminist ire here on Facebook by suggesting that female infidelity on average causes more harm and greater social instability than male infidelity.-That is correct.

-Most people’s reactions were of the sort that you must be a male chauvinist, and that there is absolutely NO reason that female marital infidelity should be any “worse” than its male counterpart, and that women have every bit as much “right” to cheat on their partners as men do.

-It would seem that was the gist of the reactions, yes.

-So have you thought more about it, perhaps changed your mind?

-I have thought deeper about it, read a bit of evolution theory, which actually strengthens my stance.

-Really! How so?

-Well. Allow me. Can we agree that the primary objective of all living things is to propagate ones own genetic material; to procreate, to create healthy offspring? Can we agree that this is a universal driving force of biology? Regardless of gender?

-That seems to be a pretty well understood notion, yes. I think most will agree.

-OK. Well. In mammals, who gives birth to offspring? The male or the female?

-The female. Don’t be silly.

-OK. I’m being silly. Let me ask it this way: does a female ever have reason to doubt her child is hers?

-Of course not. You’re still being silly. The child came out of her body. She was there, and is an eyewitness to her own maternity.

-Exactly. There is, in other words, a zero percent chance that a female can be mistaken about her own offspring in fact being hers. Her genetic investment is not at stake.

-Ah, I get your drift. For the male, on the other hand…

-Indeed. Did you know that it’s a scientific fact that between 5% and 20% of human fathers are raising children that, unbeknownst to themselves – are NOT their biological offspring?

-I’ve heard that, yes. Startling numbers.


-Well, is raising a child that is not your own a good way to ensure the spread of your genetic material?

-I would hardly say it is. I would say it is a genetic cul-de-sac. You spend your productive years providing for another man’s genetic offspring, helping HIS genes survive instead of your own. Hardly a good move in terms of survival-of-the-fittest. A really dumb move, actually!

-Bingo. To summarize: Men’s genetic investment is at risk from their mates cheating on them. Women’s genetic investment is NOT at risk from the converse. It’s an asymmetric cost/benefit scenario, genetically speaking.

-Hm, I’m starting to get it. Is this why harsher social condemnation of female infidelity than male infidelity seems to be in place in almost all cultures?

-Bingo again. Natural, evolutionary phenomena are indubitably reflected in human behavior and cultural systems.

-So when men have traditionally been given more cultural leeway to cheat, this is actually rooted in straight up biology?

-Yes. And when you add another interesting fact about statistical patterns of female infidelity….

-Which is? Now you’ve got me curious!


-…which is that females of many species, including ours, have been statistically shown to seek “extramarital” sex exactly when they are ovulating. It’s probably subconscious.


-Yes. It’s as if the safest bet for females; the evolutionarily proven genetic payoff – comes from a rather sly technique involving tricking TWO males into being “fathers” of her offspring: an alpha male to impregnate her, providing the genetics, and a tricked, pussy whipped one to stay home with her and help her raise and protect the young. I’m paraphrasing the science a bit here. But this is why we see in a number of species, notably birds, what is known as mate guarding – the male of the species following his mate around during ovulation to ensure he is not being cheated on. Of course, in human females, ovulation is not obvious. With birds and other species, the males have the advantage of observing a change in color, scent, etc… and can thus be on special guard to beat the fuck out of any would-be interlopers. Us human males – not so much. We pretty much have to take our woman’s word for it.

-Wow, this is really interesting stuff. I bet this can help explain a lot of other social and emotional phenomena… jealousy? Possessiveness?

-Yes. Unlike what feminism would have you believe, these things are not just convenient social constructs designed to keep women down and let men have all the fun in a patriarchal conspiracy. It’s deeply rooted in biology. Some may even conclude that females have a natural upper hand in this game of genetic selection. In most species, they do after all get to play the role as “chooser” while the male must play “suitor.”

-I’ll be damned! But this is not a very PC view in 2013, is it?

-No, it is not. But that does not mean it’s not true.

-Well, it’s been nice talking to you Mr. Berge. May the feminist ire again be raised and inspire lots of pitchforks around your house and FB page! Just kidding.

-My pleasure.

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