Category: Divorce

How Do You Spell Dad? L-O-V-E

Waking up at the crack of dawn sucks. It just does. Well, it does for me.

I’ve never been a morning person. I never will be. I like to get up at about 9 or 10AM. Well, that’s just not the life I’ve chosen to live.

You see, I get up so early for a reason.

 

I usually arrive home from work at 11PM. I’m totally wired and wide awake. I eventually wind down so I can get to sleep at around 1AM. My alarm goes off in the morning, but I snooze for a few more minutes before I jump out of bed. I try to shake the cobwebs out of my brain and think of where I parked my car so I can go pick up my kids.

I drive over to my ex-wife’s house and get my kids at 7:15AM. We spend about 45 minutes to an hour getting to school. There are mornings where we just listen to the radio. We sometimes laugh about stories from the previous day or if we see something silly on the way. When a serious event happens in our country, we might have a brief thought provoking discussion. When I see the opportunity, I let my kids know about some cold hard truths about growing up in America. They soak it all up like sponges. In the end, I have that special time with just me and my kids. It’s time well spent.

I get the balance of my sleep some time during the day by taking naps if I’m not working. I ain’t afraid to admit, I LOVE naps. Later in the day, I pick them up from school and we spend the afternoon together at my place until I bring them to their mom’s house after I cook them dinner.

It’s exhausting, but totally worth every hour I miss of sleep during the night.

Why do I do this to myself? Well, I asked this question this morning when I got out of bed. As soon as I thought of that question, I got my answer.

It’s because I love them. I really do.

After 14 years of fatherhood, nothing has changed. I’ve been there since the beginning. I’m glad I saw every little step my kids have taken over the years and witnessed every little development along the way. Our time is very limited on this planet and I am making sure I spend as much of it as I possibly can with my kids before they are adults and off on their own.

I wasn’t going to allow any silly “family court” system to keep me away from this. I’ll lose all kinds of sleep but I won’t lose out on being a father. That’s just not going to happen. I made sure of that.

Fathers….

We love our kids as much as mothers. We care too. We want to be there as much as we can even though we may be tired, working long hours, traveling, busting our ass to get a promotion or more money or any other thing that might keep us temporarily separate.

Dads…

We are not the babysitter. We are the guidance the protection, the focus, the spiritual uplift, the support system, the provider, the backbone, the rock, the stability, the L-O-V-E.

I heard about this artist and song today after chatting with a colleague of mine named Felton Offard on Facebook. (he’s an amazing guitarists by the way). He hipped me to this guy Sho Baraka. Sho has a great new album out called ” The Narrative.”

I think this is right on point:

I learned that love ain’t based on performance
Make a mistake and I will love you in the morning
I see life in my children’s eyes
And when I’m wrong I’ll be the first to apologize
Peace to all my fathers who are working through their flaws
Fulfilling their duties and they don’t do it for applause
It’s true, any fool with a tool can reproduce
But a father is that dude that’ll see it through
Forget the stereotypes lets be clear
There are good men out there we are here

……………..

How do you spell dad?
It goes L-O-V-E
How do you spell dad?
It goes L-O-V-E
How do you spell dad?

Why Can’t Divorced Men Commit? I’ll Tell You

An excerpt: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ed-housewright/why-cant-divorced-men-com_b_1135625.html? Actually, her leaving is much more likely to increase a man’s interest than to badger him about making a commitment. I think women need to be more assertive and better negotiators in relationships. Say what you want up…

American Men Have No Reproductive Rights

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An excerpt:

Our society is not encouraged to overcome the stereotypes that ridicule men. This may be part of a strategy. Those who wish to put down men with old-fashioned stereotypes, such as that men only want women for one thing and will readily engage in the sex act with any stranger, may be putting men down just so they will lose children in divorce court and have to pay. This brings up an interesting point: while the nation is encouraged to dismiss stereotypes about women, such as that they cannot make responsible decisions or hold demanding executive jobs, when it comes to reproductive rights the stereotypes that men can’t control their sexual impulses and that they should have to pay for everything are stereotypes that are reinforced and perpetrated with glee.

The stereotypes against men merely serve to deprive them of reproductive rights. Women are not naturally better at nurturing, we are told. This stereotype is refuted to support the idea that there is no reason that married men can’t help take care of the kids. But judges usually think children are better off with their mothers. Unless, of course, the man who wants custody is in a same-sex marriage and wants to adopt. Then, somehow, a nurturing male is a possibility that should be seriously defended.

Another major stereotype that interferes with men’s reproductive rights is that men are naturally violent. This enables judges to quickly approve of “temporary restraining orders” and “orders of protection” against husbands. All the wife has to do is allege in court that she is “afraid” that the husband may strike her. And this TRO is granted even if the husband has absolutely no history of violence.

These three stereotypes, that 1) men don’t want to take care of children and are only interested in sex, 2) that men are defined by society as the wage earners, and 3) that men are naturally prone to domestic violence, are used by women and their lawyers to continue the abuse of fathers and deprive them of the affection of their children. In brief, men are selfish, violent, uncaring brutes naturally unfit to be fathers. How convenient to the family court system, and to women who want custody and the house.

And women complain that they alone have to battle against stereotypes. The anti-father stereotypes don’t matter as long as the stereotypes are used to get custody of the children, monthly child support, alimony checks, and the house to the ex-wife.

Read more: http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2015/08/american_men_have_no_reproductive_rights.html#ixzz3ihs6RTVC
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